When going on a first date there are many things to consider. If all of your interaction so far has been online or email, one of these is topics of conversation. While the following may be fine as fillers, if they become the main theme it may be an indication that you don’t have much in common. So here goes….
The Weather. You just arrived and it was raining, so both of you being a bit wet makes it perfectly fine to have a laugh about how you look and the conditions outside. However if after you settle down you find the conversation drifting back off to how bad the weather has been this week, month or year then you can probably assume your relationship is headed for similarly bland territory.
Politics. So you have just met, discussed the weather briefly and ordered a drink. What next? How about how poorly your political party is performing at the moment and why they may be headed for defeat at the upcoming election. I don’t think so. Warning signals should be ringing everywhere. Especially if you get radio silence in response. Try changing the subject to something superficial and if this doesn’t work then maybe say your uncle just had a hernia operation and get out of there quick.
The Ex. So you’ve warmed up with a cocktail. What next? How about discussing the stalker ex after which it has taken you six years of therapy and all your courage to summon the effort to trust another human being enough to go on another date. Well maybe it is an interesting story for a thriller novel and may fill hours of the night – but not a first date . A brief mention with no detail is suffice, otherwise prepare for the sequel, or worse still, the live performance in the near future.
Religion. All is well and you have stuck around long enough to order a bite to eat. What next? How about I noticed from your profile that you have a religious inclination (too dangerous to name any one). Now maybe this person went to a religious school twenty years ago or clicked the wrong button or maybe they are really religious but either way I wouldn’t go there. Much better keeping it light-hearted and seeing if you connect emotionally over time. You can generally have two ministers at your wedding if you get that far or maybe even two weddings.
The Kid/Kids. You’ve skated through the tricky stuff and made it through entrée. What next? Maybe the kids? There is nothing wrong with mention of names or as part of a story but most people would have roughly figured this from your profile if you declared them in the appropriate spot and not as other hobbies/interests. However chances are if you have eight kids and your date has six, the need to be compatible emotionally without them is even more important than if you have none – trust me, you will have to make the most of any spare second you get together. Best find this out now.
What did we miss? Any turbulent topics that you’d like to add?
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