Is there one thing holding you back?

There are several areas where you may experience some hurdles in online dating, and its very likely to be one or two easily rectified things that are preventing success.  Never assume that you can’t succeed!

Lets have a look at areas that may be barriers to your success.

Initial Contact

Have you ever sent a contact request to someone you thought would be perfect for you and wondered why you got a reply saying something like “Thanks but no thanks”. Chances are you are not alone. Depending on your self-esteem and personality there are many different ways to react. At the extreme end there would be those who instantly log off and don’t go back for a significant amount of time – if ever. Some might see it as the other person’s problem which is entirely possible. Others may look a little more objectively at why they were rejected and use it as motivation to succeed.

The reality is that there could be a myriad of reasons you got this response, ranging from that person already having met someone else, to you having been one of a thousand others that all look the same. Some of these things you can control and change and others are in the lap of the gods. But what if it is something obvious to others but not to you that creates the wrong impression such as a blurry image of your favourite photo or an overgeneralisation on your profile. These things can be make a huge difference in terms of getting an initial response. The great thing about online dating is you have only lost one opportunity but with some revision to your profile, many others lie beyond.


So you have graduated from “thanks but no thanks” to “you sound interesting would love to know more about you”. Once you have been given the opportunity to make contact then the next steps of communicating and setting up an initial meeting can be equally as daunting particularly for those who have unexpectedly become single. Do you take a detailed approach and write a long winded email as to all the reasons you think you will hit it off and attaching a copy of your personal CV for reference?  Or do you keep it short and to the point and offer to meet at the nearest motel and provide your contact details. Well chances are the answer lies somewhere in between but thankfully there are many accepted norms for this and if you follow a rough template of these chances are you will be able to set up a meeting.


The final frontier of online dating is the personal contact. It is by far the trickiest and most important of course so unless you are content to be pen friends you should invest plenty of time preparing for this. Again there are many accepted norms that can guide you here from safety and comfort tips to grooming and appropriate dress. It is more likely at this stage than the others that one thing could trip you up. There are countless possible reasons for this but we recommend that regardless of whether you are getting a first date but not a second, or are you only getting to a month or a year, that you spend time trying to understand and improve yourself.

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